Friday, May 1, 2015

From Thoughts to Paper: Barnes and Noble Rant

 << the first minute is quiet, but then I realize it's too quiet and then you can't hear the annoying jingle of my car keys>>

So I made a new blog. It was about time, my blogging fingers were getting itchy. I've taken to recording voice memos while driving, especially when I've left somewhere just so I can go home and write. This is one of those times. Below is the excerpt that I wrote when I got home, a short, unedited, probably grammatically incorrect piece of first draft. But then you can see where the idea becomes a story, and a story becomes a character, and then it becomes real. To me, at least. I know the memo above is 12 minutes, but it makes more sense if you listen then read below...... okay. Bye now.



It stood there, looming at me. It was an ugly building, as all malls are, the cinderblock walls painted pale beige, now peeling from lack of care and weather. I didn’t want to go in.
That was a lie. My old self was begging to go in.
I tend to avoid cities, the stink of decaying bodies and dark corners keep me away most of the time. But cities are where the food is, the packaged food that promises to stay good for twenty years. I needed some of that food.
So I hadn’t seen a bookstore in over a year and a half, since I spent most of my time in the woods, away from what I dread most. Now I’m standing in front of one, and I can’t decide.
I racked my brain trying to remember the last time I read a book was, and it jumped to a year prior when I was still with Him. The dead Him. He had a dog-eared copy of Game of Thrones, and I devoured the words in a day, my eyes stingy and dry by the end of it. He was impressed. I was thirsty for more.
My feet propelled forward before my brain decided, my body longing for a copy of anything-anything! I’d read shitty Wuthering Heights if that’s all that’s left.
The door swung open easily as my gloved hand tugged, expecting a rusty door. That sent alarms off in my head. Who else has been here recently? I look around, my rifle nested comfortably in the crook of my shoulder. Nothing. Just wind. I shook off the feeling and stepped forward slowly, crushed glass crunching under my boots. The store was dark, pitch black towards the back. I stood inside for a minute, listening, letting my eyes adjust to the dimness. Silence.
Most of the bookshelves are still standing, no doubt bolted to the ground and heavy as hell. Back in the day people would sue if they got hurt by anything, so safety first. I chuckle at the memory. Self-entitled assholes. The books were scattered everywhere, most of them gone. No doubt used for burning and warmth, because it’s Minnesota. Winters are hard. I walk slowly, still remembering the layout from my teenage years. It’s funny how you remember, just like in your grocery store, exactly where your item is. I knew where the young adult section was, and sure as shit the sign still stood, faded with time, announcing the young adult section.
I smile. I reach forward and grab a book in front of me, the grey mask still pictured on the cover. It was a national phenomenon, this story. Pure shit, too, so I wasn’t wasting my backpack space on shit. I set it back down.
In the first time in years, I meander. I pick books up and set them back down, bored by the synopsis on the back or reminded that I had read it already.
After twenty minutes of looking, I narrow down my choices to two, a post-apocalyptic thriller I had read once previously, and a tale about a small family in post-war Vietnam. I don’t remember the last time I have been this excited for something in my future. I’m already planning the next time I can come back when I hear something- something close.
I crouch into the darkness of the floor, quickly stuffing the two paperbacks in to my bag, trying to be as quiet as possible.

In this world, you don’t know anything but this: they’re trying to find you. Always.

No comments:

Post a Comment